Be friends first before dating
In a post for Fox News Magazine, Kim Olver, author of "Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner and Your Life," stresses the importance of friendship in romance: When I think of reasons people cheat, I often hear things like, ‘She never supports me.’ ‘He didn't want to spend time with me.’ ‘She doesn't understand me.’ ‘He never really listens when I talk to him.’ ‘I don't even think s/he likes me.’ ‘S/he is always complaining.’ Aren't all these statements really the opposite of the core of friendship?
Think about how you are with your friends: You tell each other everything.
Three very, very different things that are handled three very, very different ways, but at least you know! He's not going to take you to some crappy hellhole you hate on your first date.
If you're more of a "cute sushi place with twinkle lights in the windows" gal, he totally knows that and you will not end up at "dark sports bar with lots of screaming." Bless his heart.11.
Yeah, he remembers all of that and it scarred his brain and now he will not so much as come close to licking your face ever or being a total dick out of nowhere, don't you worry. You know all about his issues with his ex, so you're not wondering what he likes and doesn't like. You already trust him, which makes you, like, 80 percent less nail-bitingly nervous about everything.
The guy who slept with you and then stopped calling you for no reason?
At this point, it's easy as pie to tell when he's being weird because he's working too much or because he's kind of pissed off at you because of something you said or if he needs help because he's probably an alcoholic who won't admit it.
And you can't think of a better person to do that with than him.
Contrary to popular belief, platonic friendships between men and women exist.
There must be a balance between the likability and desirability factors.
Since it's easy to get caught up in the aloof and challenging parts of a relationship, this necessary liking-desiring balance could be more difficult to achieve without the friendship part fully in tact.